Thursday, October 15, 2009

life's question

In all my fifty-eight years on the planet I don't think I've ever had a clear picture of where I should be going... What direction am I destined to take?
What 'purpose' was I created to fill? Never gave it enough thought to actually cause a change in direction, or have the confidence that I could make that choice.
I feel different now. Feel as if the person I was meant to be has come into power, risen above all the other small voices that silence that soul.
There can always be regrets of lost opportunities, different paths that could have been taken, but I won't allow myself to go there. That serves no purpose in enjoying the current time of my life.
I want to live my truth. And there are so many parts of myself that need further exploration and experience.
The part that is the work in all this, is the effort to not allow the mundane chores of life be an excuse to not venture further into personal growth. This is easy for a child of Depression era parents. Work, work, work, don't waste time, save that, fix that... This is so ingrained in me that I feel I'm 'wasting' time if I sit and read during the day, take time to meditate, anything that might be personally (that is, just something done for my person)enjoyable.
Conciousness is the key. A human being, not a human doing...

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